Title: Living the Dream
Characters: AU Tony DiNozzo (with mentions of AU Wendy DiNozzo and AU Ziva David)
Word Count: 590
Spoilers: Based on published spoilers for episode 9.14 Life before His Eyes
Summary: If this is living the dream, he sometimes wishes he would wake up
He wasn’t generally reflective by nature, but the events of the day lended itself to self examination and he found that he always reflected better with the aid of some good bourbon; just one more thing he could thank his father for.
Wendy was working late yet again and he found that it bothered him less and less. It seemed the time they did spend together was spent in petty arguments and talk of work – well, mainly her work; as she was on the fast track to making editor and that alone occupied her thoughts and her schedule. He had hoped that she would be pregnant by now and even though she said she still wanted a baby he had his doubts. How can you get pregnant if you never have the time for sex? He missed the sex, of course he did, but he missed the intimacy even more. If he was honest with himself he couldn’t remember the last time he and Wendy had experienced any real intimacy.
Not that the blame was entirely hers, he knew that he wasn’t the husband that she had signed up for and that they were basically living separate lives – he did his thing and she did hers. Years ago he would have pegged that as the perfect marriage, but he now knew you couldn’t be happily married and pass like ships in the night.
Sometimes he wondered what life would have been like he if and Wendy hadn’t gotten married. Looking back he realized that he almost hadn’t proposed, but his father was just coming off the divorce from his third wife and Tony was hell bent on proving that it was possible for a DiNozzo to have a normal life and to live the American dream – marriage, kids, career, the works - and he did love her when he asked, of that he had no doubts.
But did he still love her? Throwing back another drink, he decided the answer was yes, he loved his wife, but he knew he wasn’t happy with her. He wasn’t even sure if he could call himself content.
Sliding the empty glass back towards the bartender and motioning for his check the image of the female Mossad agent he questioned earlier that day rose unbidden in his mind. She was something else – and he was definitely attracted to her. He had felt some weird kind of connection and he knew that she had felt it too. He saw it in her eyes.
Of course, they would never act on the attraction, he was a married federal officer and she was an agent of a foreign government here on a suspicious assignment, but he did wonder for the briefest of moments what his life would be like if he were with her instead of Wendy. The idea frightened and excited him. He tasted her name on his tongue “Ziva David” and found that he liked it. A lot.
Coughing, he cleared those thoughts from his head and felt the guilt wash over him.
Sighing softly, he got up and tossed his tip on the bar and thought to himself ‘Perhaps, in another life…’