NCISdrabble100: Challenge #236 What If

[dragonheart]

Title: What If…

Author: KYTIVAFAN

Rating: G

Character/Pairing: Ziva/Ray with mention of Tony/EJ

Spoiler: 8.20 Two Faced

Word Count: 385

Summary: Ziva has a decision to make…

 

Ziva looked at her phone and saw the eighth text message of the morning.  It was a new record, usually by this time; he had only sent four maybe five. The record for one day was twelve – not counting the phone messages and emails.

She had to give him credit for persistence, but did she really think he would be anything else? The thought that she knew him so well as not to be surprised gave her pause.

 

 

She knew she had overacted, knew from the moment the words left her mouth, but she couldn’t stop them. She knew her emotions were getting away from her – yet she didn’t try to rein them in, she let them spill over like a deluge over a dam, not caring that she sounded ridiculous.

 Maybe if she hadn’t seen Tony and EJ being so cozy in the elevator right before EJ’s off the cuff revelation she wouldn’t have been so raw emotionally – she might not have reacted at all to the fact that he had been working with NCIS on the port to port killer case and didn’t tell her. She knew about keeping secrets, even from those you cared about – especially from those you cared about. It wasn’t about trust – she trusted him – she gave his information to Gibbs without a second thought, so why the outburst? Why did she continue to ignore him?

The why? Self-defense – pure and simple

She knew in her hearts of hearts the reason she hadn’t responded to him; she was still deciding.

 Deciding if she wanted to pursue her heart with Tony or pursue her life with Ray.  She knew a life with Tony was a long shot at best – a road too long traveled and filled with obstacles. Could she put Tony behind her and really give herself over to Ray?  Could she give to Ray the thing that she couldn’t give to Tony no matter how hard she tried? Could she utterly loose herself to another person – just this once? Could she bring down the carefully constructed walls and allow him access to her soul as well as her body? 

Up until now this thing with him had been easy, comfortable, fun - but now with this falling out – it was decision time – hold on or let go.

What if the next time he called – she answered?

Comments

[rigil-kent.livejournal.com]

Answer it, Ziva. Tony isn't worth your time.

[dragonheart]

giggle*snort

[rigil-kent.livejournal.com]

Isn't it sad that that is my default feeling toward the DiNozzo character these days? :(

[dragonheart]

He has more than earned it.

I don't know why I keep forgiving and forgetting his antics - I really do have a love/hate relationship with him (not really hate, but you know what I mean). Somedays I want to hug him, others I want to strangle him. Since EJ showed up - he has been camped out in strangle territory.

[rigil-kent.livejournal.com]

Ironically, its usually the end of the season (and the beginning of the next one) that I tend to like Tony the most because he starts acting like the super!agent he's supposed to be. This year, though, I started to dislike him in 8x01 and he's never recovered (again, a failing of the writing, IMO.)

Perhaps if I cared whether the EJ character lived or died I might actually be more enthusiastic about Tony these days, but right now, its like they took everything I didn't like about Kate and Jenny, everything I don't like about Ziva (when she's in full on snark-bitch mode), and created a new character. Hence, I react with "If Tony is interested in THAT, then clearly Ziva can do better. Go Team Ray." :(

Sigh.

[alidiabin]

I like it.

[dragonheart]

thanks!